A lot of people don’t know. Yet they think they do. I fake a smile almost everyday just to please others. But I’m dying inside. I’m dying. Not because I’m afraid to live but because… that I don’t know. I always tell others you must love yourself but yet I fail to love myself. I’ve lost myself to a storm. I’ve been at my lowest peak for as long as I can remember. And It is depression. I’ve realized not many people want to hear me mooping and sobbing about how I feel but they rather hear me speak on false hopes that I have for myself. This is depression. Another victim. Another scar. Another person whose voice doesn’t get heard. You would think a asylum would help. But to Lock me up and put me in a stray jacket. Isn’t what I want. “But Isn’t that best way to solve depression? To lock you away and make sure you’re safe?” This is depression. Not wanting to do anything because you fear the wrong thing may happen. Or that people are intentionally doing things to hurt you. And no one wants to die alone trust me. I’m at my happiest when I’m not surrounded by my thoughts.
When I love I love with my heart. I dont play games I don’t do those things. I’ve been hurt so many times its like why keep going? But they say you gotta look at the positive things in life and let the negative ones go. I believed him when he said he was sorry but then again I was the fool left with the pity. It was like he had blind folded me and said “Baby I won’t do it again I promise ” but when i took the blind fold off i couldn’t help but be amazed “how dare you creep in my bed my sheets where I sleep. How dare you break our so called happy home by bringing this so called one night stand into my house. Am I not good enough for you? Am i not worthy enough that you rather break my heart so you can get what a nut?
I should have known it was over but lack of self-love kept me thinking we had potential.
You said we were better off as friends, but how could I be friends with someone I’m in love with?
I’m still waiting on that call when you say “I’m just checking up on you to know that you’re doing well.”
But I guess it’s my fault for expecting too much. Right? Or is it my fault for giving you too much of me?
Shit they say if you love someone and they come back to you then they’re yours but you didn’t come back so I guess you were never mine to begin with. Huh?
You love that stupid girl and you don’t even give me the time of day anymore I find it funny I’m not going to be upset or anything because you never failed to amaze me.
I questioned myself for months upon months were did I go wrong? But shit I had to remind myself that it is a dog eat dog world.
You use to love to screw those women and then tell me that you’d never do it again? You had to be fucking kidding.
I took you back many many times and now you settled down with another chick?
I sound like a jealous bitter female but this what happens when you give someone you’re all and they leave you with nothing but baggage.
Why is it that you’re still a thought in my mind though? If you really did call me I would say fuck you…
We all tend to fall in love with the Wrong guy the one we call “Mr.Perfect.” The one we’re to blind to see doing anything Wrong but that’s the same guy who cheats on us but we tend forgive and accept aplogizes that he takes for granted … we love him to point where we start to cut the people who really matter off.. He claims to love’s us but he isn’t will to cut all ties with his “Ex’s?”umm interesting. There’s more missed calls then there’s every been because he’s with “her.”and you’re to blind to notice that he’s just with You because he can’t have her the way he has You. She’s not dumb she has standards. And you wait just a second because I’m not saying that you don’t have none these I’m just saying you’re clueless because you’re in love with a fool. And why do fools fall in love? Still reminds a mystery.
Have you ever wondered what could of happened if you chose a different path? Ever watch the person you love fall deeply In love with another soul? Why do we settle for less when we deserve the best? The truth hurts I know, we rather swallow our pride before we allow our selves to choke on it. Truth is , you don’t care and I rather be comfortable with your lies. Smoke a few, and let the thoughts Die. Be strong even when the needle is in your vein and the doctor says to you “You Have Six months to live, You have Cancer.” Be strong like the JURY against you & you know your going to win..