I’ve giving you all of me
From the heart that pounders
To the person you needed be.
I see that love between you and I was fatal.
I carried your problems along with mine on my back. You lived carelessly while I walked through the valley of death trying to make you happy. .
I don’t want to blame you for the hurt that you’ve caused but how do I not?
If the world was coming to end and oxygen was dissipating I would of gave you my last breath so you could die happy.
You chased me through the garden of Eden because at that time you loved me. This was the beginning of chapter 1 of 9.
But it’s funny how the tables have turned…
Because your married now
If you ask me how I’m doing I’m going to tell you im good. I don’t want you to know how broken I am. And I how I really feel inside. I mean I don’t wanna paint a picture in your mind of me being “Good.” Because to be honest I just wish I was good
“Hey whats up? You reached Dana leave message.” Hey Dana I was just calling to say that I’m sorry. I know over the years I’ve put you through so much crap. It wasn’t your fault that I cheated on you with Brenda. Maybe a one night stand at the time seemed right. But if I could go back in time I’d apologize I never meant to hurt you and I didn’t expect you to come home when me and Brenda were in the action. You were my bestfriend. And im truly sorry. Im sorry that everytime I got super wasted I would hooked up with my Ex Girlfriend. I took you for granted never thinking one day Dana would get fed up with my shit and leave. But congratulations on your first child and your marriage. Sorry that after four years I finally called to tell you that im sorry. I knew I should of ran after you when you packed your bags and left to your mom’s. I guess I just wanted be a player when all you wanted to do was settle down. I love you Dana and no this isn’t one of those drunk calls where im very emotional. Im just sorry Dana.
I can’t help but think of the day where you got on bended knee and told me “I love you more than words could ever express more than I love my mom’s mac. You bring the best out of me and I just don’t see me living life without you. Baby girl you’re worth every diamond every pearl and even every part of my heart Ana will you marry me?” I replay this day in my head once a day because now that you and I are no longer together I struggle with who I am. I thought that maybe you’d call by now but now I’m watching our future plans become someone else’s. And now she’s pregnant? And I wonder how did six years go in the drain? How did she become your queen and I your peasant? Truth is if you and I were meant to be you’d be in my bed when I wake up not hers. I fell madly in love with you so it tears my heart that you love another woman. I loved you for who you were not who you became. Who are you cause I can’t figure it out anymore. You love another woman and I just can’t. I faced too much I do too much and everything I’ve done was for you.
”You’ve reached Sean Poles leave a message.” Hey Its been a while. I don’t want hold you to long because I know you have this new life. And you’re about to have a wife. I just… I don’t know I get carried away at times I guess. Um I called to say.. uhh I hate part. (Throat starts to get tight and Tears start to fall down.) I know you think I’m crazy and that you wish you never met me but I can’t hide the fact that you made me a better person. You changed my life and it was for the better. Your fiancé is the luckiest woman alive because I’d give up my life to be in her shoes. Thanks for everything Sean. Goobye.
I left a note by the bed saying that I’d be back in a few days just needed to clear my head, but I knew that I wouldn’t be back. Sick and tired of the arguing I guess I gave up. But trust me it did break my heart knowing I was breaking yours. Came to collect my clothes when I thought you wouldn’t be home. But my expectations left me to be wrong. I guess after 72 missed calls and a million text from you with no response on my end you got the hint. I didn’t come here to argue with you. Yes I still love you but this relationship is hurting me more than it should be. And its not you, its me. Its better this way that we stay apart. You scream at me call me a liar a cheater and everything in the book then you even try to put your hands on me. Then I have a flash back to when you beat my ass and you said you were sorry and I forgave you. Shit I just came here for my clothes, you can keep the rest of my shit but im not going to allow you to abuse me believe that…