#ex

All posts tagged #ex

GRADUATION Day..

Published April 18, 2018 by jusdanii

Thanks for calling me
Hey! It’s my birthday & it’s the fourth birthday that you’ve missed.
But, thanks for calling me.
It’s almost the holidays you know the time you spend with your love ones
So, thanks for calling me.
Wow! Another lonely Valentines, but thanks for buying me my favorite chocolate.
So I got a flat tired on the freeway and it decided to pour down raining
But I guess its okay, so thank you me for calling to see if I was okay.
I moved out of my mom’s place into a condo.
But thanks for calling me to see if I needed help.
Saturday was the day I graduated from college with my master’s degree.
Thanks for calling me to tell me congratulations.
Hey! I met someone so this might be the last time I call you.
But thanks for loving and calling me after all these years.
Hey! I’m getting married tomorrow and yah I know I shouldn’t be calling you
But I just want to say thanks for answering the phone after all these years.
Also after this I’ll probably never call again but thanks for being there all times I needed you

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SARAH

Published January 14, 2018 by jusdanii

I’ve giving you all of me
From the heart that pounders
To the person you needed be.
I see that love between you and I was fatal.
I carried your problems along with mine on my back. You lived carelessly while I walked through the valley of death trying to make you happy. .
I don’t want to blame you for the hurt that you’ve caused but how do I not?
If the world was coming to end and oxygen was dissipating I would of gave you my last breath so you could die happy.
You chased me through the garden of Eden because at that time you loved me. This was the beginning of chapter 1 of 9.
But it’s funny how the tables have turned…
Because your married now

DANA

Published November 12, 2016 by jusdanii

“Hey whats up? You reached Dana leave message.” Hey Dana I was just calling to say that I’m sorry. I know over the years I’ve put you through so much crap. It wasn’t your fault that I cheated on you with Brenda. Maybe a one night stand at the time seemed right. But if I could go back in time I’d apologize I never meant to hurt you and I didn’t expect you to come home when me and Brenda were in the action. You were my bestfriend. And im truly sorry. Im sorry that everytime I got super wasted I would hooked up with my Ex Girlfriend. I took you for granted never thinking one day Dana would get fed up with my shit and leave. But congratulations on your first child and your marriage. Sorry that after four years I finally called to tell you that im sorry. I knew I should of ran after you when you packed your bags and left to your mom’s. I guess I just wanted be a player when all you wanted to do was settle down. I love you Dana and no this isn’t one of those drunk calls where im very emotional. Im just sorry Dana.

Will You……?

Published November 11, 2016 by jusdanii

I can’t help but think of the day where you got on bended knee and told me “I love you more than words could ever express more than I love my mom’s mac. You bring the best out of me and I just don’t see me living life without you.  Baby girl you’re worth every diamond every pearl and even every part of my heart Ana will you marry me?”  I replay this day in my head once a day because now that you and I are no longer together I struggle with who I am. I thought that maybe you’d call by now but now I’m watching our future plans become someone else’s. And now she’s pregnant? And I wonder how did six years go in the drain? How did she become your queen and I your peasant? Truth is if you and I were meant to be you’d be in my bed when I wake up not hers. I fell madly in love with you so it tears my heart that you love another woman.  I loved you for who you were not who you became. Who are you cause I can’t figure it out anymore. You love another woman and I just can’t.  I faced too much I do too much and everything I’ve done was for you.

Voicemail

Published November 6, 2016 by jusdanii

​”You’ve reached Sean Poles leave a message.” Hey Its been a while. I don’t want hold you to long because I know you have this new life. And you’re about to have a wife. I just… I don’t know I get carried away at times I guess. Um I called to say.. uhh I hate part. (Throat starts to get tight and Tears start to fall down.) I know you think I’m crazy and that you wish you never met me but I can’t hide the fact that you made me a better person. You changed my life and it was for the better. Your fiancé is the luckiest woman alive because I’d give up my life to be in her shoes. Thanks for everything Sean. Goobye. 

We’ve All Been There.

Published September 1, 2016 by jusdanii

 

I should have known it was over but lack of self-love kept me thinking we had potential.

You said we were better off as friends, but how could I be friends with someone I’m in love with?

I’m still waiting on that call when you say “I’m just checking up on you to know that you’re doing well.”

But I guess it’s my fault for expecting too much. Right? Or is it my fault for giving you too much of me?

Shit they say if you love someone and they come back to you then they’re yours but you didn’t come back so I guess you were never mine to begin with. Huh?

You love that stupid girl and you don’t even give me the time of day anymore I find it funny I’m not going to be upset or anything because you never failed to amaze me.

I questioned myself for months upon months were did I go wrong? But shit I had to remind myself that it is a dog eat dog world.

You use to love to screw those women and then tell me that you’d never do it again? You had to be fucking kidding.

I took you back many many times and now you settled down with another chick?

I sound like a jealous bitter female but this what happens when you give someone you’re all and they leave you with nothing but baggage.

Why is it that you’re still a thought in my mind though? If you really did call me I would say fuck you…

 

Growing

Published August 30, 2016 by jusdanii

You have to love yourself before you allow yourself to love another being.  I was in relationship for a year in six months. I never fully understood what that person meant when they called our relationship toxic. Even when we split I still wondered what that person meant by toxic? I didn’t understand if they were referring to me as a toxic person or were they saying “Hey we can’t be together because we are just not meant to be?” I didn’t and still don’t know what that person meant because I loved them way more than I should have. I should’ve backed off when they cheated but being fourteen all the way to sixteen teaches you things about love and yourself. Like how does someone love another being more than they love themselves? I was young and I was looking for love online because my insecurities were through the roof. It took me nearly eighteen years to finally say “I’m comfortable in my own skin enough to love me.” I was steady worried that I wouldn’t find someone good enough for me. But who is better for you than you? When you meet new people you always have to get to know them. For instance you have to read the back a book to find out what a book is about. Not just a pretty cover is going to always appeal to the eye.