What is love can you express love? And I don’t mean the old immature answer I need an answer something other’s can understand. Can you handle that? “Yes okay I think I can handle that.” But Love between two people?” “Anything anyone.” “Well to me love doesn’t really acquire another thing or another person. You can love yourself just because you see good quality within yourself.” “Let me stop you there, do you consider that to be some love or think that’s self-worth?” “That’s self-love because if you woke up and got dressed in the dark and you looked like crap when you shine the light on you can say “Hey I’m going to look pretty shit but hey I feel and look how I thought I would be my best that’s love because instead of Downing yourself you’ve let yourself know your just beautiful the way you are.” “What about love between two people? Love between two people?” It’s hard to describe because there’s always one person who loves the other person more. Can you explain? Well I use an example okay. Say that I like purple but you love purple make you go crazy if you don’t have it. Well that’s like how love is with two people one person is obsessed and the other person just loves. “That’s not always the case though don’t you think?” Why not?” “Just because I love you doesn’t mean I have to be obsessed over you one maybe clingy but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re obsessed.” “Yes but clingy leads to some kind of obsession.” “Okay I’ll let you have that but keep going with your explanation.” Love can’t be expressed in words it’s actually more about actions.
I gave you all of me and i watched you just destroy me. But i won’t complain because I’m the one who let constantly stab me in the back and tell you “Hey Its okay you can stab me again.” Shit i covered the pain because I’d thought you changed. But then again u stabbed me again and had me feeling like girl you anit even worth it. You was out there cheating sleeping with who ever would give you what you needed. You had a queen at home but you rather sleep a with servant.
”Hey whats up? You reached Dana leave message.” Hey Dana I was just calling to say that I’m sorry. I know over the years I’ve put you through so much crap. It wasn’t your fault that I cheated on you with Brenda. Maybe a one night stand at the time seemed right. But if I could go back in time I’d apologize I never meant to hurt you and I didn’t expect you to come home when me and Brenda were in the action. You were my bestfriend. And im truly sorry. Im sorry that everytime I got super wasted I would hooked up with my Ex Girlfriend. I took you for granted never thinking one day Dana would get fed up with my shit and leave. But congratulations on your first child and your marriage. Sorry that after four years I finally called to tell you that im sorry. I knew I should of ran after you when you packed your bags and left to your mom’s. I guess I just wanted be a player when all you wanted to do was settle down. I love you Dana and no this isn’t one of those drunk calls where im very emotional. Im just sorry Dana.
I can’t help but think of the day where you got on bended knee and told me “I love you more than words could ever express more than I love my mom’s mac. You bring the best out of me and I just don’t see me living life without you. Baby girl you’re worth every diamond every pearl and even every part of my heart Ana will you marry me?” I replay this day in my head once a day because now that you and I are no longer together I struggle with who I am. I thought that maybe you’d call by now but now I’m watching our future plans become someone else’s. And now she’s pregnant? And I wonder how did six years go in the drain? How did she become your queen and I your peasant? Truth is if you and I were meant to be you’d be in my bed when I wake up not hers. I fell madly in love with you so it tears my heart that you love another woman. I loved you for who you were not who you became. Who are you cause I can’t figure it out anymore. You love another woman and I just can’t. I faced too much I do too much and everything I’ve done was for you.
”You’ve reached Sean Poles leave a message.” Hey Its been a while. I don’t want hold you to long because I know you have this new life. And you’re about to have a wife. I just… I don’t know I get carried away at times I guess. Um I called to say.. uhh I hate part. (Throat starts to get tight and Tears start to fall down.) I know you think I’m crazy and that you wish you never met me but I can’t hide the fact that you made me a better person. You changed my life and it was for the better. Your fiancé is the luckiest woman alive because I’d give up my life to be in her shoes. Thanks for everything Sean. Goobye.
I left a note by the bed saying that I’d be back in a few days just needed to clear my head, but I knew that I wouldn’t be back. Sick and tired of the arguing I guess I gave up. But trust me it did break my heart knowing I was breaking yours. Came to collect my clothes when I thought you wouldn’t be home. But my expectations left me to be wrong. I guess after 72 missed calls and a million text from you with no response on my end you got the hint. I didn’t come here to argue with you. Yes I still love you but this relationship is hurting me more than it should be. And its not you, its me. Its better this way that we stay apart. You scream at me call me a liar a cheater a everything in the book then you even try to put your hands on me. Then I have a flash back to when you beat my ass and you said you were sorry and I forgave you. Shit I just came here for my clothes, you can keep the rest of my shit but im not going to allow you to abuse me believe that…
I should have known it was over but lack of self-love kept me thinking we had potential.
You said we were better off as friends, but how could I be friends with someone I’m in love with?
I’m still waiting on that call when you say “I’m just checking up on you to know that you’re doing well.”
But I guess it’s my fault for expecting too much. Right? Or is it my fault for giving you too much of me?
Shit they say if you love someone and they come back to you then they’re yours but you didn’t come back so I guess you were never mine to begin with. Huh?
You love that stupid girl and you don’t even give me the time of day anymore I find it funny I’m not going to be upset or anything because you never failed to amaze me.
I questioned myself for months upon months were did I go wrong? But shit I had to remind myself that it is a dog eat dog world.
You use to love to screw those women and then tell me that you’d never do it again? You had to be fucking kidding.
I took you back many many times and now you settled down with another chick?
I sound like a jealous bitter female but this what happens when you give someone you’re all and they leave you with nothing but baggage.
Why is it that you’re still a thought in my mind though? If you really did call me I would say fuck you…