A lot of people don’t know. Yet they think they do. I fake a smile almost everyday just to please others. But I’m dying inside. I’m dying. Not because I’m afraid to live but because… that I don’t know. I always tell others you must love yourself but yet I fail to love myself. I’ve lost myself to a storm. I’ve been at my lowest peak for as long as I can remember. And It is depression. I’ve realized not many people want to hear me mooping and sobbing about how I feel but they rather hear me speak on false hopes that I have for myself. This is depression. Another victim. Another scar. Another person whose voice doesn’t get heard. You would think a asylum would help. But to Lock me up and put me in a stray jacket. Isn’t what I want. “But Isn’t that best way to solve depression? To lock you away and make sure you’re safe?” This is depression. Not wanting to do anything because you fear the wrong thing may happen. Or that people are intentionally doing things to hurt you. And no one wants to die alone trust me. I’m at my happiest when I’m not surrounded by my thoughts.
I should have known it was over but lack of self-love kept me thinking we had potential.
You said we were better off as friends, but how could I be friends with someone I’m in love with?
I’m still waiting on that call when you say “I’m just checking up on you to know that you’re doing well.”
But I guess it’s my fault for expecting too much. Right? Or is it my fault for giving you too much of me?
Shit they say if you love someone and they come back to you then they’re yours but you didn’t come back so I guess you were never mine to begin with. Huh?
You love that stupid girl and you don’t even give me the time of day anymore I find it funny I’m not going to be upset or anything because you never failed to amaze me.
I questioned myself for months upon months were did I go wrong? But shit I had to remind myself that it is a dog eat dog world.
You use to love to screw those women and then tell me that you’d never do it again? You had to be fucking kidding.
I took you back many many times and now you settled down with another chick?
I sound like a jealous bitter female but this what happens when you give someone you’re all and they leave you with nothing but baggage.
Why is it that you’re still a thought in my mind though? If you really did call me I would say fuck you…
I’m seeing things so much clearer. You realize how life really works when you have to do it alone. You learn how to love yourself when your love isn’t dependent on loving someone else.
We all go through a faze where we want only to be loved , in that time Frame we forget to love ours